Ok so how many of you out there are a first time mom??? anyone … well I’m NOT I am a mother of three beautiful, wild, crazy, and outrageous boys.. (I would not have it any other way) they are happy and healthy and that’s great.. I however, not so great… I suffer from anxiety disorder which if any of you have it know its awful, its a struggle everyday and frankly I AM SICK OF IT… I ask myself everyday why me.. What can I do about it.. Well I can take meds for it but then I worry about what those meds are doing to my body so you see its a terrible cycle.. I worry everyday about everything … I live in a world of fear, it’s my own world, but I am living in it.. Once again I AM SICK OF IT… I don’t just worry about my children I worry for them and about them…I worry about everything.. Everything scares me I see stuff on the news, read stuff on the internet, read in magazines and something everyday scares me.. The food we eat, the drinks we drink, the meds we take, the air we breath, the couches we sit on I can go on and on..
I was watching Katie yesterday and Jessica Abla (spell??) was on there telling us about her honest line of products which is great, but she proceeded to tell everyone open your windows let out the toxins that’s when I found out my couches and mattresses are hazardous to our health.. So here we go just another thing for me to worry about and be scared about.. I contemplated for months do I give my new baby baby food.. I gave it to my other two. They are fine.. I thought about going organic and making my own baby food.. Do you know how expensive that is.. Right now I can’t do it so now what… I feel GUILTY because I have some girl on TV telling me I need to do it or my kids health is being jeopardized.. My heart races (literally) everyday .. I am constantly taking my pulse and saying why is my heart beating so fast, why is my heart flip flopping.. Well hmmm I WONDER!!!! DUH you’re a nervous wreck everyday of your life…
So is there anyone else like me out there…. or am I it???? I want to wake up everyday ready to tackle the day I don’t want to be wondering what new disease out there is going to scare me today. My oldest son the poor kid gets attacked by his mother every morning and afternoon first the day starts like this “make sure you wash your hands as much as you can in school son” “use your hand sanitizer” “be good” and “have a great day” all the while he is probably thinking this women has lost her mind she told me all this yesterday and the day before.. HA then after school he walks in “Hi MOM” ” Hi don’t move take your shoes and coat off go wash your hands and change your clothes” then I ask him how his day was after all that stuff is completed… I ask myself do I do this to protect my children or am I just plain crazy..
I just wonder how many of us are out there.. My family gets sick of hearing me whine and cry so I decided to blog, I don’t have many friends so I need to release my thoughts somewhere.. so thank you for listening and I can’t wait to see your responses.. I really don’t need any negativity so please refrain from all negative comments. I am reaching out for help so the last thing I need is someone being negative towards me.. Thanks and until my next blog … xoxo